What do you say when your friend isn't okay?
Young people are often the first people their friends turn to when they’re struggling with their mental health, but few have been taught what to say or do next.
Big Chats is a new free website which aims to change that.
Launched in time for Mental Health Awareness Week, the site provides practical, evidence-based guidance young people can use in all kinds of chats, whether they’re showing up for friends through everyday struggles through to suicidal distress and mental health crises.
“No one should have to go through tough times alone,” founder Elle Cradwick says. “And it can be really hard to know what to do or what to say when someone you care about is struggling.
“We want young people to feel confident to reach out and be there for the people they care about, while knowing they don't have to fix everything themselves.”
Big Chats was created by mental health professionals in response to a gap they saw in the resources available to young adults who want to help their friends (and are already trying to), but were never shown how.
While the Government has identified safe community conversations about suicide as a national priority, Big Chats is the first platform in Aotearoa specifically designed to help 18–30-year-olds have those conversations.
Many campaigns encourage young people to seek help when they are struggling themselves, but there is little guidance available for friends about how to offer that help when they notice something is wrong or find themselves supporting someone through a tough time.
“Friends and whānau can end up on the frontline when someone they care about is struggling. While they’re not a replacement for professional help, it’s an important role, and it can be full on,” Elle says. “Young people need practical skills to know how to show up for each other, while knowing when and how to link them up with professionals.”
At the heart of Big Chats is the Big Chats Burger, a six-step framework that guides users through recognising when someone may be struggling, starting a chat, listening and responding safely, considering next steps, all while looking after their own wellbeing as supporters.
During development, the Big Chats team repeatedly heard from young people who had wanted to help a friend but felt out of their depth.
“When we showed testers the site, many told us they wished they'd had something like this when they were supporting someone or struggling themselves,” Elle says.
“Every single person could think of a time when someone had opened up to them about their mental health and they'd wondered whether they were saying or doing the right thing. Big Chats is about building that bridge, helping people feel more confident to be there for each other.”
Big Chats is free, online and designed to be accessible wherever young people are. Big Chats is here so you can be there.
Big Chats has received funding from Rātā Foundation, Wayne Francis Charitable Trust, Steadfast Foundation, Foundation North, and a number of generous private donors.